How to Stay Happily Married

Brad and I have known each other our entire lives, so we have history. We grew up on farms not 7 miles from one another. Everyone in our little community knew one another and our parents were friends.

Nancy, Brad’s younger sister and I were great buddies. She was funny and talented and a joy to be with. Once after a sleepover that included hysterical giggling fits and much conversation, Brad announced to me that I had a big mouth.

The nerve. 🤣

When he had to drive us to high school functions my freshman year, Brad made Nancy and me get on the floorboard of the back seat.

He didn’t want anyone to see him driving around pipsqueaks like us.

And we obediently did it. 🤣

Then everything changed the summer I turned 15.

We went to the drive-in on a double date as third wheels with my cousin, Jim, and my best friend, Diana,  and while those 2 smooched, Brad and I sat in the front seat and talked thru both movies. I have to admit at least for me, a little spark was lit that night.

Two years later, we started actually dating, and we’ve been talking nonstop ever since.

Our conversations are the best!

I feel at home wherever he is, and I’m so thankful I’m married to him.

On August 7, we celebrated 47 years, and the 5 years we were together before that! Without a doubt, he is my person.

Perhaps 47 years gives us some credibility….

For sure, we are not marriage experts, but we had a lot of fun looking back on our years together to make this list of tips for you. Each relationship is different, we know, and this is in no way judgment of anyone else’s way of doing things.

Trust me, in our years together, we did many things WRONG. (But, who wants to make a list like that?🙄 Not me!)

These 28 ideas are just things that we did RIGHT that helped us get to Year 47 more in love than ever.

That seems like a huge victory! And kind of like a miracle.

How to Stay Happily Married…..28 Ideas

In no particular order-

ONE: Don’t marry someone you think needs fixing… having the idea that living with you will fix them-not a good way to start.

TWO: If someone tells and shows you who they are before you even get married, and it isn’t good,  believe them. See number 1. 

Three: Get on the same page spiritually, asap. This is soooo vitally important. 

Four: Love one another’s families. You aren’t just marrying your spouse. 

Five: Accept the fact your spouse isn’t perfect and you aren’t either.

Six: Love isn’t enough-decide to really mean your marriage vows. 

Seven: Be committed to the institution of marriage. 

Eight: Don’t marry a jerk. See #2. 

Nine: Learn how to disagree and fight and compromise and make-up. Don’t give each other the silent treatment. 

Ten: Learn how to grow old together.

Eleven: Have fun together and apart.  Don’t count on your spouse to create your entire existence.

Twelve: Never stop dating.

Thirteen: Figure out together how to raise your kids. Be a united team.  

Fourteen: Go to church as a family and mean it.

Fifteen: Decide early on: Do you have to always be right or do you want be happily married? Everyone has to give a little and take a little. 

Sixteen: Get away at least once a year without kids.

Seventeen: Don’t expect your spouse to make you happy-that’s an inside job.

Eighteen: Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Nineteen: Forgive quickly; don’t hold grudges.

Twenty: Respect one another and live in a way that deserves respect. 

Twenty-one: Love Jesus more. This one should be first in the list, but admittedly, I didn’t love Jesus more for many of the first years of our marriage. Now, I DO!

Twenty-two: Keep growing individually and as a couple. Keep doing new things, going new places, making new friends. 

Twenty-three: Keep having fun together. 

Twenty-four: Be one another’s biggest cheerleader.

Twenty-five: Stay interested and interesting.

Twenty-six: Dave Ramsey would  disagree, but it has worked for us to have separate checking accounts. We have our money and Susan’s money 🥰 for miscellaneous things. We trust each other with our finances.

Twenty-seven: Be flexible and kind.

Twenty-eight: He always considers me and I consider him.

I’ve certainly not been the perfect wife, nor has he been the perfect husband.

But we’ve worked through it, raised 3 great sons, and now are enjoying each of our precious grandkids. And we have 2 daughters in law we love, too! Win!

He still makes me laugh, challenges me to think bigger, and makes everything more fun.

I love you, Brad Shull!

Please comment and add your tips to this list. Won’t that be inspirational and helpful?

Let’s have the absolutely best marriages we possibly can because they won’t last forever, you know.

xoxo,

Susan

Want to read more love stories? How to Be Married      How to Be Married Part Two     How to Be Married Part 3

Interested in learning more about the “inside job” described in #17?  I have put together some great resources to get you started on this amazing journey of self-discovery and into a life you love! Learn more here.