This is the second in a series about marriage, in honor of our 40th wedding anniversary. I am so blessed to have people in my life who say “yes” when I have a request of them. Thank you, marriage warriors! Catch up on the first post if you missed it HERE.
Hello Friends!
I was tickled that so many of you read and enjoyed the invaluable wisdom from Debbie Diel and Kevin Colclasure in the last post. Getting marriage advice from people who have learned how to be together for many, many years is a good thing, don’t you think?
Sidebar: One of the highlights of our anniversary road trip was a visit to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. Our plan was to spend an hour or so before heading to Niagara Falls, but we ended up there for 4 hours, and I smiled the entire time. It was a blast going down music memory lane. We were both surprised at how the words to song after song after song came back to us, and the teacher in me was reminded that putting information to a tune is a marvelous way to learn. If you are ever in the area, you should definitely stop in.
Now, on to the tips!
Lisa Teichmiller
Bill and Lisa have been friends of ours since our boys were little, and they were just young newlywed whippersnappers. We met in Sunday school class and have enjoyed countless long conversations over good food. Lisa is “real” and wise and one of my dear friends.
Mark 10:10 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
When brides and grooms meet each other at the alter they join together two broken people. Each believing the other one will mend all their scars and shortcomings.In our own marriage, we have had to overcome much heartache to allow God to redeem what satan tried to steal and destroy from our family and marriage. I believe that satan is destroying marriages in record number these days through our self-centered obsessed culture we live in.
Marriage is about surrender to God and each other. The two broken people in us 30 years ago have weathered many storms, but today we love each other with grace and understanding that with God in between us our marriage is whole.
We both now allow God to use our story and testimony to give hope and assurance to other couples in a ministry out of Austin, TX. We talk with couples from Canada to Florida who desire to be whole not only in their marriage, but want God in the middle too, as they nurture their marriages and families with Christ like love.
To death do us part is not in the Bible, but maybe brides and grooms should rewrite this traditional vow to say, “By the grace of God, and through His strength, I give myself to you all the days of my life, because in ourselves we are weak, but with God by our side we will be strong.”
Yielding our hearts to God everyday through allowing His love to flow from Him, through us, and to our mate, builds a strong foundation to an amazing life together. We give God all the glory for where we are now in our marriage today!
We and our children feel blessed and whole that we now live life with a calling to encourage other people from our own story. And from the experience that God allowed us to walk through together to be a source of comfort and grace to others facing the same journey.
Bill and Lisa Teichmiller married 1986
Rosemary Stone
Next up, is my sweet sister-in-law, Rosemary. She was just a kid when Brad and I walked down the aisle and we are still using the very nice cloth napkins she made for us. I did have to throw away the toilet paper holder though. Rosemary is still one of the most creative people I know!
When Steve and I said our wedding vows to each other, we were not only promising each other to be true to each other, to take care of each other to love and cherish each other, we were also promising God that we would do this.
Throughout our married life God has placed many different people in our lives – friends, coworkers, siblings, parents, and children. But none of these relationships have been more important than our relationship to each other and God. When we have allowed the scales to tilt and given more attention and time to others we have had hiccups. But when we have made our relationship high priority, as God intended, our relationship has been great.
So my advice, remember the promise you made to your spouse and God and make your spouse your priority, even above your parents and children.
Richard Phillips
Last but never least, is Richard Phillips. Richard and Tamara have been our friends for a very long time and recently have become our camping buddies. They are the perfect pair to take camping-fun, helpful, and great cooks!
Genesis 2:18
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Shortly after my mother gave birth to me, I believe God looked down at me and said, “This one’s going to need a very special helper.” And a year and a half later, Tamara Sue was born. A match made in heaven.
I am not the ruler over my wife. She is not the ruler over me. We are helpers to one another. We try to make sure to keep God first in our lives. If we forget that part, everything else suffers, including our relationship. Secondly, I try to put Tamara’s needs and desires ahead of my own.
Matthew 22:39
“…..Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Is my wife my neighbor? You bet she is. She lives right next to me. If everyone would treat their spouse as they would have their spouse treat them, divorce would be non-existent.
Two sayings have always stuck with me, and they are; “Happy wife, happy life”. And, “If mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”.
Richard Phillips, a man that truly loves his wife
Bonus Video……”Richard Says”
Please take a moment to add your “how to be married” advice in the comment section. I’m going to compile it all into a post later. I can’t wait to read what you think, smart readers!
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Thanks again Lisa, Rosemary, and Richard!
Beautiful words of wisdom!! Thank you again Susan.
I have wise friends and family, for sure! Hope to see you soon!
I love reading this. The one thing we have always done in 41 years is that no matter what we get in an argument one of us says I love you to the other and everything changes. We always hug, kiss and then say love you to each other. you can never stay mad or in a argument if you look at each other. We never have or will go to bed or leave the house without a kiss and I love you. We never have wanted to not have said and kissed each other because you never know what could happen. The love two people have is the greatest feeling you can have.
Betty-This is fabulous advice! Thank you for sharing it and I’ll add it to my follow up post. See you soon!
My husband of 65 years has alzheimers but he still knows me and appreciates my care, telling me many, many times a day that he loves me. He also has said, “We never had any idea it would come to this.” We have had rough times, when my expectations were unreal. I thought he would be a perfect husband since he was a pastor, and I expected our children to be almost perfect, too. Of course that led to big disappointments, & and helped teach me how much pride I had. I’m still struggling to become more like Christ. But I have always felt God called me to be his wife and that has made all the difference. We praise God each day for still being together in our home.
Oh, June. Thank you so much for sharing this. What an example of true love! I appreciate your honesty about unrealistic expectations revealing pride. Pride is our great struggle, isn’t it? Love you!
Susan – I think all couples should take a road trip together. We always travel thousands of miles on vacation, but this year was our first without Taylor aboard. We traveled for 14 days together, 24 hours a day, 3,000 plus miles. Yes there were some “moments.” We all have our pet peeves, but love is patient. Marriage is like a road trip. There are bumps in the road, but patience and love weather those bumps.
Oh, I love this analogy! Marriage is a road trip and think of the good things you would miss at your destination if you quit half-way through the trip. Did you go west?