You might not like me very much after this post.
I’m going to confess something today and it isn’t pretty. It is a character trait that I wish wasn’t connected with me.
This nastiness is comparison.
For most of my life, I have felt like I didn’t measure up. I wasn’t smart enough, funny enough, serious enough, clever enough, responsible enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, dressed cute enough, productive enough.
Enough, enough, enough-
such an ugly, debilitating word when looking at it from the “lack” side. Feeling this way made me afraid to put myself “out there” when I was younger, and kept me from experiences that would have been beneficial to me.
Or I did participate, but didn’t enjoy the experience like I should have because I hadn’t done it well enough.
Even worse, comparing myself to others as kept me from really enjoying the tasks I feel led to do and who God made me to be. Last year, I confessed my sin of comparison to one of my closest friends. I have been trying to be more aware when I fall into the trap and asking God to help me give it up.
I read Brooke Boon’s post this week and was made aware once again that God isn’t finished with me in this area quite yet.
I know I am not the only one who feels this way, and that is why I am bearing my soul to you.
I say enough is enough. I’m finished with it.
- fearfully and wonderfully made
- he created our inmost beings; he knit us together in our mother’s wombs
- he knows when we sit and when we rise
- he perceives our thoughts from afar
- he knows when we go out and when we lie down
- God lavishes us with grace
- We are CHOSEN by GOD.
Kairos- My Redeemer Lives from MICHAEL ELLIS on Vimeo.
These men are locked up because of decisions they made. They don’t have a choice.
I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullnesss of God. Ephesians 3: 17b-19